“I Vant To Be Alone”

I’m life coach and counselor Peter Winslow. Without traveling too far into the distant past, I can remember a time when I was somewhat-to-very uncomfortable being by myself, and feeling alone.

Maybe you can relate to this. If you are anything like many of my life coaching clients, the uncomfortable feeling of being alone may be a critical factor in your own success and happiness.

In time, I came to understand that for me, these feelings occurred because I didn't really like who I thought I was—and more importantly, I didn't know how to change that. It all seemed very difficult and emotionally draining. Yet with time, the tide eventually turned. As with most things, in the end it all worked out for the best.

Case in point: let’s say you've just gone through a difficult break-up with a significant other and you're ready to move on. It can be very empowering to realize that moving on, in a sense, can mean coming back home to who you really are.

If you feel uncomfortable being alone, you might remain in a dysfunctional relationship long past the point at which you otherwise might have freed yourself. When you're okay to be with yourself, by yourself and for yourself, things can and do evolve for the better. For one thing, you become more attractive to other people. Ironic, isn’t it?

Think about it… if you don't really like to be with you… why would anyone else (at least a healthy anyone else) like to be with you? In other words, if you can’t stand being with you—who can?

Ask yourself the question: am I more attracted to someone who doesn't like to be alone, or to a person who is comfortable in their own skin no matter who they are or are not with?

With this awareness in our grasp, our break-ups can signify a new beginning and lead to new personal growth. And that is a very exciting prospect for anyone.

 –Peter Winslow